You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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