Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
