He kissed a someone with a penis
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize