I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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