you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
