every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
