But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
