GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
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