That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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