Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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