have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
