its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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