i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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