i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
