Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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