DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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