I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
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You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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