Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
