Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
