I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
