i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
