I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
