Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Randomize
