so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
