The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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