This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
