i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
