I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
