please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
