Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize