His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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