Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
