some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
