dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize