All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
