you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
