I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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