is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
