His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She needs sedatives and a leash
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
