Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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