The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
