Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
