Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
