No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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