I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
