This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize