At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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