i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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