This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
