I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
