I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
