i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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