He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Oh god it's open bar.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
