then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
do nipples grow back?
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