How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
