Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
