hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
