Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
