i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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