Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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