Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
